Entries from September 2007 ↓

Unless you have been living under a rock recently, you know that law enforcement has been bitch-smacked by the liberal socialist press recently for two incidents, which I like to refer to as “Don’t Tase Me, Bro” and “Wow, I’ve Been Living In A Techno-Cave”. Since we all know about the dickhead who, essentially, wanted to make a name for himself on YouTube and thus started disrupting John Kerry at a speech with questions and then resisted arrest, I won’t discuss any more on that subject.

Here’s what I will talk about: ideology verses common sense in the case of one Star Simpson.

Ideologically, innocence is always innocent — if you only mean one thing and someone takes it the wrong way, that’s someone’s problem, not yours. But, in practice, this simply isn’t the case. Much like in law, ignorance of the law does not excuse breaking the law, ignorance of social mores or cause and effect is not an excuse. For example, if I walked into Germany wearing a swastika because I was trying to say my body is my Hindu temple (or something equally unknown in the mainstream) I would have absolutely no right to look shocked that I was arrested — it is illegal to wear or display the Swastika in that country.

I do not agree with Germany on that policy, but I would not be angry with the police who arrested me when it was *I* who needed to know what the Swastika is interpreted as and how the law is designed around it.

Since the day that two buildings in New York City fell down, terrorism has been a real and imagined concern in the eyes of the populace, but even before that (I say this as a former airport employee, by the way) before TSA and all the Orwellian nightmares they induce, before planes were turned into Weapons of Mass Murder and Destruction, you could not walk into an airport and through security with something strapped on your chest that had exposed wires and an exposed electrical supply and anything resembling plastic explosive on your hands. Would you have been shot — or at least stared down the business end of a gun? Maybe, maybe not. Most people weren’t that stupid. Most people knew the rules, even before water became a threatening substance: no guns, no (large) knives/weapons, and nothing that looks like a bomb.

Remember Pan-Am 103?

So why, in the name of all common sense, would anyone think that an electrically-wired shirt with an exposed battery and wires would make it through security? More over, why would anyone defend this?

Oh, that’s right — because TSA are always wrong. Always.

Now, I’ll tell you something, as someone who was in the airport when there were private security firms, who knows people who lost jobs to the TSA overhaul, who couldn’t go to work for three days because suddenly my security clearance wasn’t up to the newly-imposed standards, who had to deal with John Wayne cowboys who wouldn’t let me take my lunch through security more often than not, even though this was years before the liquids ban, and MPs (Military Police) who sexually harassed me every day I went to work, I hate the TSA more than anyone. Yet, I’m not going to fault them for doing their job. I’d think someone who was walking around with exposed wires and batteries and putty on their hands was up to no good too.

And, ladies and gentlemen, look at what airport this took place at: LOGAN. This was the airport from which two of the buildings fall down day airplanes left from, who took most of the flack for the terrorist attacks of the day. This is an airport in BOSTON, a city which arrested two men who were just putting up some guerrilla marketing and only cared about hairdos of the 1970s, for putting up hoax devices.

None of these things make what they did right, but neither is banning a symbol. Yet that’s the reality you have to live with until we can get enough people petitioning enough politicians to change the law. And, by the way, martyrdom may raise awareness, but it’s a piss poor way to do it, especially when it involves gratuitous acts of stupidity.

You’d have to be an idiot to wear that shirt into Logan Airport and not expect something to happen. Hell, if this was London, she’d have been shot seven times in the head and once in the shoulder.

You’d have to be an idiot, or much like “Don’t Tase Me, Bro”, a fame hound.

You be the judge.

I don’t know which is worse, that the man who first brought us John McClane has been sentenced to four months in prison today or that Jack Bauer’s been charged with drunk driving.

See, kids, this is how the terrorists win — when our heroes (or people who direct our heroic epics) make asses of themselves! Next, Arnold Vosloo will save some kittens, Jeremy Irons and his brother, Alan Rickman, will publically donate money to starving orphans, and Art Malik will join up with Habitat for Humanity.

WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!

Apparently someone called Sherri Shepherd is one of an ever-changing roster of hosts for morning TV show ‘The View’. And recently, when Whoopi Goldberg asked her on-air if she though the world is flat, she replied that she did not know.

Quite why anyone is surprised that she’s an idiot is beyond me. She co-hosts The View, ferchrissakes, and with Whoopi and Barbara on board, she’s relegated to fulfilling one of the chairs reserved for ‘hosts who will say dumb things the big-name hosts can pick on them for.’
She also apparently retracted her statements today, claiming she was too nervous and confused to answer the question properly. Which also makes sense. I mean, she’s only the most frequent guest on Ellen’s talk show, and veteran of two or three sitcoms and several movies into the bargain. People with that much experience frequently get too nervous to answer very simple yes-or-no questions that fourth-graders would call you retarded for asking, I’m sure.

Of course, stupid though she might seem, she is a little more intelligent than people have given her credit for: she knew this was going to happen.
“Now just keep praying, that every morning I don’t put my foot in my mouth – but if you know me, it’s bound to happen.”

And she can look on the bright side: it’s not the stupidest view that has ever been expressed on The View – not since Rosie O’Donnell hosted last year, anyway.

I’ve been seeing these ads in almost every women’s magazine I’ve picked up this month, including the Biblically-sized Vogue. (Even Brides magazine doesn’t go to 800+ pages and weigh several pounds!) For some reason, every time I see this particular ad, though something seems…not right? Unnatural. Missing?

Oh, that’s it: the model’s nipples. For some reason, it seems, women aren’t meant to have nipples anymore, I suppose is Jordache’s message. In a world where anal bleaching is the new boob job, God only knows what kind of weird plastic surgery this is going to lead to. Or maybe it’s breast cancer chic, where we’re supporting women who’ve had their breasts augmented after a double mastectomy which left them with no nipples? Maybe they’re just scared of the sort of backlash Calvin Klein received from the topless Kate Moss and Brook Shields photos of the 90s and 80s (respectively) that they’re not taking any chances inflaming the senses of the good, pure American public. I mean, look what happened to the brand! No one’s ever heard of Calvin Klein since then!

I mean, this ad was in Cosmopolitan, the preferred reading material of straight-laced librarians and matronly head mistresses everywhere. After all, the almost-soft-core porn pictures of nearly-naked men (I saw some pubes once!) and erotic fiction are purely for educational purposes, of course! Only sensible, level-headed, puritanical women pick up such magazines, and the sight of such things would irreparably harm their weak constitutions! We don’t want to have women fainting at the sight of something they actually have on their own bodies! Oh, imagine the consequences!

Who knows, maybe *men* might start picking up the magazine in hopes of material to assist in self-gratification, and that would mean a whole new demographic buying the magazine for purposes other than purely intellectual stimulation, and no publisher wants to reach a new demographic if it is for any reason other than the intended purpose! That would put money before honor, and no publisher would dare do that!

No, Heidi Klum is simply the new Zarathustra, the next higher evolution of women, sans-nipples so that breast feeding in public no longer is considered offensive and topless beaches will loose their sensationalism, and thank god for that! It’s about time! Now I’m off to say a rosary to pray for the souls of all those horrid women on Desperate Housewives!

According to the BBC, Sony have confirmed there is a rootkit on their Micro Vault fingerprint-locked USB flash drives and that they are absolutely concerned about this. They’re looking into the problem, ladies and gentlemen. Surprisingly, it only took them five days this time to acknowledge the problem instead of the weeks they went ignoring the problem with the CDs.

However, their definition of concerned and mine seem a bit different, as they’ve promised a fix for those effected by mid-September, and reiterated that people shouldn’t be overly concerned as they no longer make this Micro Vault anyway, even though they are still for sale on various internet websites — or they were until Wednesday, when the story broke.

Sony said it was conducting an internal investigation into the problem and would offer a fix “by mid-September”.

Moreover, Sony points out, no customers have complained about the problem yet. Well, that could be because it’s a, oh I don’t know, rootkit and the scary thing about said rootkits is that you do not know that they are there until a friendly little hacker knocks on your computer’s virtual unlocked door and says, “Pardon me, but you appear to have left your computer unlocked. You may want to have this checked.” Or, they send in a trojan or worm or virus (or virii if they’re feeling particularly nasty) and start logging your keystrokes, infecting your computer, and turning your computer into a little zombie PC. And as much as I like zombie films, I’d rather not have one in my home — human or machine.

Researchers at F-secure said that a hacker could then infect a computer as any files stored on the hidden directory would be invisible to the user and also from some virus scanners and security software.

As usual, Sony do not take the blame for this, and insist the problem was an outside firm they contracted to do the security work. This time, they say, the rootkit problem is “not as serious” because they were doing it for your protection, not theirs. I’m sure anyone who loses their identity due to some malevolent hacker feels much better already.

Sony also stated that, in conjunction with the outside vendor’s full cooperation, they’re launching an internal investigation. Don’t you feel better? I sure do! It’s the equivalent of wealthy and/or politically important parties finding out their son or daughter (or both) have been arrested on charges of a DUI, possession, and assaulting an officer and insist that the child should be released to their care and they will quietly handle things themselves. Then, they disappear from the media, not to be heard from again until the little bastards do something else. So we let Sony off the hook for this one, they fuck off and work on making a bigger, better PlayStation or plasma TV so people will go “rootkit what?” and meanwhile pull a repeat of the CD problem, releasing a patch that only makes things worse.

To which Sony (in Invader Zim-style) would reply, “Worse? Or better?”

Sadly, only the BBC seem to be covering this right now, which means thousands of people could have left the door wide open to their computers and be none-the-wiser! Oh, you tech-savvy, anti-corporation bastards, where are you now?!

As of “press time” (ie: when I uploaded) Sony’s website for the Micro Vaults does not acknowledge this security flaw! Also of note: neither the Press Release nor the articles available online denote which of the three “discontinued” models of Micro Vault have been effected. I tried looking for any kind of press release from Sony regarding which models are effected, so that I could do a search of online and local retailers to see who’s still selling the effected models and how many are out there to be purchased, as Sony can’t be arsed doing a recall, but guess what I found when I searched the term “rootkit” at Sony’s website?

A search for “Micro Vault” led to press releases announcing the newest Micro Vaults to be released and those about to go on clearance sale, but nothing noticing its customers to the huge security hole gaping in their systems. Nice.

Additionally, now McAfee’s dev blog is giving Sony a verbal bashing that’s somewhat fierce. Go McAfee!

Edited 9/2/07 @ 10:44 EST to Add: According to CNet’s news blog, the effected Micro Vaults are the USM-F models, which are listed on the Sony site still without warning.

A search of MSN’s shopping site revealed eight smaller online retailers still carrying the effected flash drives, and a quick google search of the model numbers reveal that they are still for sale at the websites for major retailersCircuit City and Amazon.com.
I intend to check out the Circuit City, Best Buy, Radio Shack, and CompUSA in my area to see if they are still for sale in stores, just to get a feel for how widespread this problem could potentially be.

Some guy in Ohio was arrested a couple of days ago, largely because he was the kind of person who calls 911 when he doesn’t want to show his receipt and is then stupid enough to throw a hissy fit about showing ID. To a cop. That he called. Even though it wasn’t an emergency.

This is a great illustration of what happens when people try to be activists based on something they’ve read threads about on online discussion forums. Exhibit: after buying merchandise from Circuit City, customer refuses to show his receipt to the loss prevention guy posted on the door. Because he’s read leftist blogs about freedom, man, and he wants to show THE MAN that he can’t tell Joe Prole what to do. Ignoring the fact that he’s paid for the stuff, and it takes all of four seconds for someone to glance at a receipt and at said stuff in his bag. Ignoring the fact that, goddamnit, the loss prevention guy is hired specifically to CHECK RECEIPTS, and that if a bunch of shoplifters waltz out with stolen goods in store-branded bags, the loss prevention guy is the one who takes the hit for that. Namely by being fired.
Okay, yeah. I get it. You PAID for your goods, so why should you have to prove it? Well, because shoplifters also have the ability to say that they paid for their shit and walk out, with completely straight faces. This isn’t a case of OH MY GOD THE MAN WANTS TO SEE MY RECEIPT HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A SHOPLIFTER — it’s a case of, dude, seriously, you should just suck it up and show your receipt out of common courtesy of making it easier for a business to do business.

By the way, I claim utter bias in this: not just because I work for the company in question — I’d call this guy a fucktard if he pulled the same shit on Best Buy, CompUSA, the Apple Store, or Ann fucking Summers — but because twice a week I have to count different categories of items in-store to check if the number we have is the same as the system thinks we should have. And software – one of the things the fucktard in question bought – is a horrible category for this. People steal games all the goddamned time. The very least invasive thing a store can do is ask to see your receipt when you’re leaving. They’re not asking for ID. They’re not running a credit check. They’re not taking your picture for future reference, or your phone number, or any kind of personal details. If you put up a fight about it for no better reason than you don’t want to, that puts you on the same level as the people who bitch and moan about being forced to wear seatbelts by the government.
YOU GAIN NOTHING BY ARGUING THIS, SAVE INCONVENIENCING OTHERS. You’re the kind of jackass who edits random shit out of Wikipedia articles because you think it’s non-notable. You’re the kind of person who finds a loophole in a BB system’s rules to say inflammatory shit and then cries and moans about being thrown out.
You’re a real-life troll, making it difficult for other people just so you can feel smarter and more important.

Here’s a suggestion: if you’re all gung-ho about your rights, do something that MATTERS. Go to a rally. Form a lobbying group to effect change. Organise a letter-writing campaign to your local politician. Run for local office.
Or failing that, try refusing to show ID and strolling straight into a nightclub, past the SAS-looking motherfucker on the door.

So keep reading those online forums about how it’s your right to not leave a tip if you don’t like the way the waitress didn’t smile at you, Mr. Training Consultant Fucktard. And the next time a troll starts wrecking the discussion and then points out that he’s not technically breaking any rules, then remember how you behaved exactly the same way to some poor schmuck trying to do his job.