John McCain sets troop withdraw date, hell freezes over

To be filed under “Backpedal faster, bitch”:

Today, John McCain announced that he believes we could see troops withdraw from Iraq as early as 2013 which isn’t very early at all, and by which point he would have single-handedly destroyed the world by going to war with every country that looked at him funny. And there are a lot of those.

Apparently, steadfastly holding onto an opinion that less than 30% of the country believes in is not good for politics! Who knew?

There are, of course, reasons why Mr. McCain would set a potential withdraw date in his candidacy, other than trying to draw in independent and moderate voters who may be swayed by a message of change or by Mike Gravel’s awesome libertarian policies!₁ And, it may not be that he too has been obsessively listening to Handlebars by Flobots and now wants to end the world in a holocaust. Remember, kids:

2013 would be after he was out of office, should he only serve one term.

You shouldn’t invade other countries, like Iran, when your troops are fighting on two different fronts with little international support.

By 2013, we may have no troops to send or withdraw.

He’s an old man who had skin cancer and is from Arizona–he could die soon.